写作的100个常见错误之倒叙写摘要，难懂指数直线上升

多数时候，摘要或提要中的信息能大致反映正文中的内容。期刊对摘要的要求各有偏好：有些对小标题有极其细化的要求，有些则对形式感的要求比较低，自然成段的文字概述即可。

以下是某论文的研究提要，你是否能发现其中的问题？

1

案例

Our observations of the foraging behavior of the Atlantic walrus（Odobenus rosmarus rosmarus）in the wild in combination with measurements of limb skeletal asymmetry suggest that lateralized limb use occurs in the walrus. This is the first study that describes their underwater foraging behavior in their natural habitat, as documented by scuba divers. Very little direct documentation is available for this behavior since they are a large and potentially dangerous species. They are highly specialized predators with a unique feeding niche. The video recordings indicated a predisposition to using the right front flipper during feeding. This predisposition was further explored by examining a museum collection of walrus skeletons for asymmetries in the bones of the extremities.

2

分析

这段提要一开篇就先给出结论，然后才交代背景和研究方法，倒叙的逻辑会给部分读者增加理解成本。

理想情况下，作者应该基于论文本身的结构：背景、方法、结果和结论，先写一个摘要提纲、再列出主要的概念（发现），把细节填进提纲里。

此外，写摘要时还应时刻注意目标期刊的字数限制，这点对于没有结构要求的摘要非常重要。

3

优化

（A 背景信息）Atlantic walruses（Odobenus rosmarus rosmarus）are highly specialized predators with a unique feeding niche. Their natural underwater foraging behavior is poorly understood; since they are a large and potentially dangerous species, very little direct documentation has been acquired. （B 阐述研究内容）This is the first study that describes their underwater foraging behavior in their natural habitat, as documented by scuba divers. （C 观察和结论）The video recordings indicated a predisposition to using the right front flipper during feeding. This predisposition was further explored by examining a museum collection of walrus skeletons for asymmetries in the bones of the extremities. The observations of foraging behavior in the wild in combination with the measurements of limb skeletal asymmetry suggest that lateralized limb use occurs in the walrus.

4

小贴士：如何撰写一段完整且有条理的摘要？

阅读期刊指南，了解其对格式的要求，比如是不是需要小标题。

罗列正文中所有关键词。

以期刊指定的小标题结构作为框架，对应相关要求写大纲。

如果期刊对小标题不作要求，可以参考期刊给出的摘要样本，分析可能需要的内容，然后撰写大纲。

最后，在大纲的基础上填充内容。这样做能确保所有关键点都不会遗漏。

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